Friday, February 27, 2015

The Invitation

Cast your cares on the Lord
and He will sustain you; 
He will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

I have a spirit of power, of sound mind, of discipline and of self-control 2 Timothy 1:7.  I am more than a conqueror Romans 8:37.  Jesus is the Vine & I am the branch grafted in - His very life courses through me John 15:4-5, making me well able to do all things through Him who strengthens me Phillipians 4:13.  I am fully equipped already for every good thing to which the Lord has & will call me and to carry out all of His commands and directives & instructions day by day as He feeds me because the Spirit of God dwells inside me now & all the days of my life while I am here on earth 1 Corinthians 3:16

It is an imperative that I get the vision on the inside of how able I am [by God's provision of the Spirit & Christ's blood in me] by His grace to do all things & know - really know - that anything in His will that I need to accomplish He can bring to pass if I will just do my part and believe & get in agreement with God that by Him & through Him, ALL things are possible in my life - spiritual and physical, mental and emotional healing, wellness and thriving - the fulfillment of the Great Commission, even in the lives of my family & friends - full restoration of relationships in my family - the changing of hearts that have been hardened against God, terrorists who have set themselves up as enemies of Christ & God's chosen people - and HOPE like none this world could ever offer because I will know and experience the TRUTH that ALL things are possible with God Matthew 19:26

Revival for this country ❤️ turning of hearts toward God & more and more coming to know and pursue real, meaningful & intimate love relationships with Jesus as He has always longed for ❤️ more and more people being filled with and following after the leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit in their lives ❤️ people hearing and knowing the voice of God & great rejoicing and songs of praise lifted on high by generations that had been turned against God. 

Yes, I believe as we each choose to acknowledge that He is inviting every one of us to walk closer with Him, and then closer still - and as we accept each invitation and move forward into a deeper faith walk to be filled with the Spirit of God as He moves in our lives as we genuinely seek after Him wholeheartedly and in earnest, not holding back, letting our guard down and giving Him room to grow in us... This kind of revival is possible even in a world that seems so lost as today. 

But it starts with each one of us - will we say yes?  

He is calling - softly and gently, tenderly calling...

Will you accept His invitation to come a little closer today?

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD

Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 NKJV

[regardless of what my situation says or what my circumstances are seeming in the natural, regardless of my thoughts and feelings and what they are telling me - I know my God is good and faithful and true and just - I know my God is LOVE and never fails me as I seek after Him with my whole heart] 

No matter what is going on inside or out - regardless of my internal or external condition, I am fully heart satisfied & find my true contentment in and glory in the undying devotion and endless affections of my Papa... and even in the midst, in the jubilant highs or the dark depths, yet my heart and soul are tuned to sing His praise always - and in all ways.  I choose to devote my tasks to Him - to honor Him by dedicating all of my life and daily workings, my coming & going to God, thereby keeping Him in His rightful authority position over every aspect of my life, great and small.   

And as my heart yearns for Him & drives my continual seeking His face and His presence, truly I will find my circumstances matter not as to whether my heart is of the condition to offer up praise because I am learning to be content, joyful and blissfully satisfied in His presence alone - I find His praise to be always welling up within me & ever on my lips... 

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace all the days of my life, Father God, because I know the Truth that no matter what I see and experience in this present world, You are always good - ever unchanging - entirely worthy of all my praise in every instance, in every moment for Your constant faithfulness.  You are I AM & I'm so humbly grateful that as such You are all I will ever need in any moment.  You are my everything <3

Let me always be hungry for, thirst and desire, yearn, strive and seek to be filled with more of You in all of my life - every part of me to be filled with Your light, love and grace.  Help me to walk boldly and confidently in Your favor that precedes and follows me everywhere, surrounding me like a shield because of Your great love for me & Your delight in me.  Help me to stay, dwell, abide and remain in an attitude of faith today - now and always, for all the days of my life.  May Your will ever be done here as it is in Heaven as I pour out my life before You.  And let me always say, "Yet I will rejoice and glory in the Lord - I will exalt His name above any other and exult in His presence - I will joy and revel in the God of my salvation!"   AMEN!!!

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Just to clarify...

I know my posts might make it seem like I've got it all together & my struggles are a thing of the past, but let's be clear... I still wrestle with the depression & the emotional battles, but I know in Whom I Hope... and I have learned the value of going beyond what I feel in any given moment to lift songs of praise *even in the midst* because the Truth of the matter is that no matter what I'm feeling, no matter what my thoughts are telling me, I'm so blessed because He always is and always will be my Constant <3 and for that alone, He will ALWAYS be worthy of ALL my praise!!!!!!!!!

This is one of those days... and I know, He's still got me.  He hasn't gone anywhere & I will get through this by His beautiful amazing grace... and my faith will be stronger for having been delivered *through* this valley as all others... I know He will give me Beauty for Ashes!!!

Praise Him!!!  My Constant <3 

Constant - by Francesca Battistelli 

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

The Lord's goodness here and now

What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.  Psalm 27:13-14

If we do not CHOOSE [it is an active, constant and continuous choosing] to live with an attitude of faith, we will be crushed by life's circumstances & pressed down upon by each of the devil's malingering whisperings.  There is so much power in this passage!  

It is all about how we wait - we must choose to boldly and confidently put all our hope and trust in God, knowing He has promised to be with us wherever we go - whatever situation, including the storms that sometimes rage inside our own minds.  He is always there.  We should never lose heart or grow weary because God Himself is the one who sustains us & carries us.  It is important to note that if we are trying to get by on our own power, we will tire quickly, and growing frustrated we will melt inside and wither in defeat. 

But the battle is the LORD's, we need only be still and stand firm in His Word - the Truth of His excellent promises - and we will see His deliverance *through* all of our storms... Yes, though I walk through the dark, sunless valley of the shadow of death, You are with me... THROUGH - not around.  Even as we go through life's trials, we can be sure God's goodness and mercy will prevail and give Him praise in the meantime.  And as we seek after Him with all our hearts, we are assured His loving-kindness will relentlessly pursue us all the days of our lives here, here and NOW, in the land of the living!  

So, yes, as the Word urges, we should wait - patiently and with glad and joyful hearts filled and sustained by the peace and joy of Christ... And hope - putting all our trust and faith in God, knowing He is love & will not fail or even disappoint us in any way because He is true, just and right in all He does... And expect - confidently expect our Redeemer, our Deliverer, our Awesome and Almighty Heavenly Father to honor His Word...

And He will strengthen our hearts within us as we go beyond what we feel, beyond what we see in the natural & what our circumstances are telling us, beyond what our thoughts are saying and CHOOSE to cling to, stand on and hold fast to all the beautiful and blessed promises we have in God's Word.  

And by this *even in the midst* we will have the GRACE to declare with Job, "You have granted me life and favor." (Job 10:12)  We will know without any doubt that God will be good to us out of His great and unfailing love for us *as* we humbly submit to and seek after Him with all our hearts, minds, bodies and souls - turning all of our lives over in complete surrender to His ultimate authority, living in obedience to His Word and His commands in our day to day lives.

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

Monday, February 23, 2015

The favor of God follows us because HE IS LOVE

But while Joseph was in prison, the Lord was with him; He showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the warden.  Genesis 39:20-21

Even when our circumstances look bleak by human standards, God is always with us - He never deserts us or leaves us stranded - and as we delight in Him & content ourselves in His abiding presence, we will dwell in full heart and soul satisfaction & His favor will follow us in all situations, even those where most might assume all hope is lost.  We can still be joyful & remain filled with hope because of the faithful love of God that never abandons us.  We can be patient in affliction and bear up under all kinds of suffering knowing that though we suffer but for a little while, our God is a mighty redeemer who is great to save and deliver us through all manners of trials for His name's sake.  All that our lives would be a testimony to the power of His saving grace and the glory of His merciful favor poured out on us so freely out of His great and matchless, amazing, everlasting, steadfast and always enduring love for us that never flickers, never wavers, is always true not because of anything we have done to earn it or any good we bring to the table but because HE IS LOVE.  

All because of who He is in His very nature He longs to care for us & uphold us by His right hand because He is our Papa & we are His precious, beloved children whom He adores & takes great delight in. So we can TRUST Him to be kind and faithful to us in all things as we seek His face and His presence manifested in our lives & know full well we will find Him as we seek & we will meet God in new and fresh ways, revealed to us day after day as He pursues us and we follow after Him in this beautiful intimate love relationship... 

This relationship I have come to cherish personally, to relish as a treasure like no other this world could ever offer me.  He is my all in all - the great I Am answers all my needs & truly satisfies the desires of my heart, mind and soul - He is my very breath & it is His Spirit in me that gives me life and song for each new day.  I am so blessed - blessed to be alive today & blessed to be aware of the inner workings of my God, my Creator - my Jesus, Lover of my soul, the Author, Perfecter and Finisher of my faith - and to have with me at all times the precious gift of the Spirit as my Constant Companion & ever present Helper. 

Yes, Lord, yes - I am blessed most abundantly & I walk in the favor of the Most High God, my Papa! ❤️ All praise to Him - it is all for His glory & honor, for His kingdom that I serve, live and breathe!  In Jesus' name, Amen!

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

working through doubts - an excerpt from my prayer journal

I know with yesterday's post, I promised I would share with you everything God has shown me about utilizing praise and worship to displace mental anguish & I most certainly will honor that!  But I just had the most beautiful time in prayer & feel pressed upon to share that experience with you.

I posted a photo not long ago that I would feel confident saying that every Christian has had their fair share of doubts and frustrations:

It was shared as part of my effort to remind us all that God is, indeed, big enough for our questions and struggles.  This excerpt from my prayer journal is just one instance of my working through doubts with Jesus, including His response to me... And oh, how precious it always is to be reassured by the Lord Himself.  


Jesus, why is it that even when I know how good and lovely and wonderful it is to meet with you... even when I know and You have just told me yourself (in last night's quiet time) how very needful it is to run after You, to constantly seek Your Presence and to be fed by Your very hand - why am I still hesitant to come sit before You... 

Why, even though You have never failed to meet me, to speak to my heart and minister to my soul personally, is there still this lingering reservation within holding me back because I'm scared that I might not hear from you *this time*  - that I might come seeking today & not find You... and I don't want to risk that heartbreak, that disappointment... so I put off coming to look for You or when I do pray to You, I rush through it & neglect to leave space and quiet, those so important pauses to hear back from You...

Why, with all the promises I've read in the Word of God, Your Word, that I can never be separated from You, that I am Yours forever, that I can never lose You - why am I so scared to come to You honest and open with quiet time to listen for fear that suddenly You'll stop showing up - that after all this good that You've shown me & told me, all You've shared with me & promised to continue to lead me into... why am I afraid that now You would fail me - that You would remove Yourself from me or withdraw from our time together, that You would hide Yourself from me or make Yourself unavailable?

[Why would I ever doubt You?]

Certainly, I have no reason to - I love You & I believe You love me with a steadfast & unfailing love.  Am I expecting in our relationship a turn of events like I've always experienced in relationships here on earth - that no good thing ever lasts and no love is genuinely unfailing and true? 

As Valentine's Day draws near again, would You show me & remind me that You love me with a Love like nothing I've ever experienced here on earth... Would You help me to understand way deep down in my soul that You will never disappoint me or fail me in any way as my True & Forever Love? 

Jesus, be my Always - show me with each day that passes that I can put all my hope and trust in You.  Help me in my doubts by healing the still broken places in my heart where I've been hurt by disappointments in relationships in this world & remind me that You are the Lover of my Soul who is ever true & worthy of my faithful devotion.  

Help me when I am tempted to be afraid that I might somehow lose You or seek and not find You by using the Spirit within me to remind me of Your Promises.  Write Your Word on my heart to be always with me, part of me - close at hand in times of wavering and doubt.  Use the music I listen to that echoes the truths of Your grace, mercy, light and love to ever remind me not just of who You are, but also of who I am to You.  Help me to know that I am Your beloved - precious, cherished & adored - and because of Your great love for me, because You are Love, You could never fail me. 

Forgive me for my doubt and fear, and Praise You for guiding me to the Truth in prayer.  I love You & bless You for all that You are to me.  Remind me when I forget or lose sight of the Truth, the blessed promise that I am spoken for.

In Your Precious Name always, 
Amen <3 


Lord, Lord, I pray You would come now in this quiet hour where my heart is made open & speak Your sweet words to me...


Be still - do not try to fill up the quiet, empty space with your own thoughts.  Leave space here within your heart for Me, Michelle.  Be quiet & calm before Me.  Rest assured, I am not angry or upset by your confession of your douts.  I am pleased that you were open and honest with me.  Instead of avoiding the quiet out of your fear, you came to Me & we dealt with it and worked through it in prayer.  This is what prayer is for.  You are not meant to keep your struggles within you to try to reason them out on your own.  You are not meant to go first to your friends to talk it through to come to a solution and understanding of things.  

Now do you understand when I say I want your first firsts - it is about so much more than just your first waking moments...  I want to be the One you run to - I want it to be My Name you call on as your instinct.  I know it's not your normal pattern now & it will take time to develop the habit - and as with all new things I have brought to you, at first it may seem strange, unfamiliar or uncomfortable - but trust Me.  I know that you trust Me - even in the midst of your doubts & fears you wrestled because you knew that it conflicted with the basic underlying truth of you that you have come to TRUST Me - even when you don't understand.  As you wrote in your blog (yesterday) - you know that I am not a liar, not one to mislead - and you know I love you & am for you & with you even when you don't readily feel it or see it. 

Do you realize how big that is?  That is huge, Michelle!  That is faith!  You are growing - you are becoming.  You may have begun your prayer today frustrated with your hesitation to come to me because you "feel" like you ought to be past that - further along than that - but I am here to tell you that you are - you are because you came to Me with it.  Because you didn't avoid or put off praying or skip over the quiet time...

You are & always will be progress - until the day I bring you home with Me - you are progress.  Rejoice in that, Michelle!  What you did today in coming to me to work through that doubt and frustration, and how much growth will happen because of today is so good - just so good!  Be glad!  Be happy!  I am making you - I am building you up - glory to glory, you are becoming!  

Keep at it!  Keep seeking and you will find.  I will show myself to you in new & marvelous ways, and I will help you see yourself as I see you.  I am leading you into a brilliant future for My Kingdom.  Keep cleaning yourself out - poured out in front of Me - wholly surrendered, make yourself available to Me & see what I will do in and through you.  

Yes, Michelle - I am well pleased - do the work - I will help you... All the little things... I am ordering your steps.  Be diligent and faithful & do the work - I am making you fully able.  I love you & I have you - always.

Jesus <3


I got good words today from Jesus - good words from my Lord.
There's nothing better!  Soul food!!!!


My hope is that from this post you will be encouraged to know that everyone struggles in their faith walk - and that's totally normal & very much okay.  God doesn't get angry or upset with us for having questions - He made us & He knows we're entirely human and that it's all part of the process.  The important thing is that we go to Him for help with our doubts, frustrations and questions rather than running from them or trying to reason them out all on our own.  God is more than able to handle our issues - whatever they may be.  Please don't be afraid to be open and honest with God - He can handle it.  

For today's music selection,
I want to share my love song to God
because He is my Forever & Always:
Francesca Battistelli

© K. Michelle Payne 2015

Monday, February 2, 2015

go beyond what you "feel"

For months, God had been working on me, teaching me to "go beyond what I feel" - urging me to do what I knew I needed to in order to fight the depression even when I didn't "feel" like it.   It began gently - with the promise that He would teach me on the days when I didn't feel as though I could even get out of bed to get up anyway - to trust Him to meet me in my weakest moments with His grace to sustain me - in His words, "indeed, to carry me" in my time of greatest need.  God promised me that in those dark hours, I was not a failure and that He would use even the worst of those moments for my good.  He assured me, 

"All is well, dear child - I have you." 

I had known for some years that in the midst of the lows of depression, working out could produce endorphins (happy chemicals in the brain) that could boost my mood in spite of what else was going on chemically in my brain.  I knew likewise that upbeat music and other means could produce similar effects...  Of course,  the problem always lay in that when one is incredibly depressed there is no motivation to get up and shower or brush teeth, much less workout or put on uplifting msuic, regardless of the possible benefit.  Still, God was pushing me to go beyond what I "feel" and do what I knew to be right anyway...

So I began with baby steps... Even though I felt no inkling of praise in me, nothing but despair and heartache, I'd put on Elevation Worship and let the music get to work on my heart, mind and soul.  And I began to notice an amazing transformation... No matter how bad off I was, having the praise and worship music on in the background would begin to reorient my frame of mind - take the focus off of myself and my depression and point my heart and mind heavenward - to things lovely, and pure and praiseworthy...  And the depression would lift.  Every time.  

There were so many times I did not at all "feel" like turning on my iPod or syncing up youtube videos - but I knew that God was not a liar, not one to mislead... and I trusted Him.  So I did it anyway - pushed aside how I felt and what all my thoughts were telling me and pushed play.  I am not saying it was easy... not at all.  But the indwelling of the Holy Spirit & the PROMISE that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength was enough to help me get up and just push PLAY.

I did not start out with my hands raised - I did not right away begin with singing or dancing in front of Him.  But bit by bit, as the choruses played one after the other, my spirit was lifted from the dark despair where I felt so incredibly isolated and alone - so very far away from everyone, including God... to the higher places, where I could sense God, where I could feel His Presence again and see the Light of His face... And as I persisted, my mood would improve and inevitably, I would end up singing, hands raised, in an entirely different state than that in which I'd begun.  

I didn't entirely understand what was going on - I just knew it worked.  And so I'd share this advice with anyone who mentioned they were wrestling with any kind of mental distress - anxiety or depression, frustration or any kind of mental anguish...  I knew God had brought me a sure fire way to ease the stress in the mind - praise and worship music (my go to thus far had been Elevation Worship, but I was pretty certain that any God-centric praise music would serve the purpose).   I was certain of the "cure" even though I didn't yet fully "get" the mechanics of how it worked.  

I figured it had something to do with the neurochemistry, right?  Surely it was tied into  the endorphins I mentioned before... What a person doesn't understand readily, the first natural inclination is to look to science to explain.  And I'm sure that there are endorphins and good neurochemicals that are being activated when I let the music work... but I know now it has a lot more to do with the type of music I've been leaning to - the praise and worship - the lyrics that I've turned to and saturated my mind with when I've been lost in the darkness.  It's not just the melodies that have rescued me - not at all.  Now, I have received enlightenment that I wasn't ready for at first... and I want to share this amazing life changing Truth with you.

But one step at a time - just like God showed me.  I don't want to overwhelm you with eight tons of information all in one fell swoop.  I promise I will share with you everything God has taught me here & in everything else He has shown me that has led me into wellness and restoration...

For now, I urge you the next time you feel overwhelmed, to go beyond what you "feel" - to push past what all the thoughts circling your mind are telling you - shrug off all the whisperings in your heart and put on some good praise music and just get lost in the lyrics and the melodies... Let the music work on your heart and soul - let it reorient your mind, taking the focus off yourself and your situation, your circumstances or your problems... Shift your gaze toward heaven and be reminded of who God is and who you are to Him.

Here is a playlist by Elevation Worship to get you started:


Until next time,
know that you are so very loved... 
And no matter what your feelings are telling you,
you are never alone, never forgotten,
never abandonned or forsaken.

You are adored.
Cherished as precious.
God's masterpiece.
His beloved.
And He is ALWAYS with you in all things.

© K. Michelle Payne 2015